The Joy and (Financial) Terror of Having Another Child

The human gestation period is, in my opinion, about 4 weeks too long. This last month of pregnancy is not for the faint of heart. The aches and pains, discomfort, insomnia, and everything in between is absolutely brutal and if you ever see a 9 month pregnant woman in the wild, you should probably just salute her or bow or immediately offer her a snack.

I could go into labor at any moment here, people! This will be our second child. I am absolutely over the moon excited to add this baby to our little family. If you know us personally, you know it was a long and often difficult journey to get here, so having two kids is a blessing we’ll never take for granted. The pros outweigh the cons by a million. This is the joy of expanding your family. Your ability to love multiplies and expands beyond any limit you thought possible. My daughter motivates me and makes me an infinitely better person. I’ve seen the same changes in my husband.

I could write all day about how loving my daughter and soon-to-be new kid is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. But of course, this is a financial newsletter and I must address the sheer terror that comes with having children as well.

It’s one thing to have to care for yourself - to put a roof over your own head, to clothe and feed yourself - it’s an entirely terrifying thing to provide for a small and helpless human being who didn’t ask to be brought into this world.

It terrifies me to bring another life into this world. Never mind climate change, political turmoil, and every horrifying headline we are bombarded with daily - it’s expensive as hell to raise a child in the US and it’s only getting costlier.

I lie awake at night knowing how fortunate we are, but still worry constantly about how I’m going to give my kids the life they deserve. How am I going to pay for two educations? Two sets of extracurriculars? Two sets of medical bills? Two cartons of berries?!?! In this economy!?! It can quickly become overwhelming.

The best advice I can give (that I have to give to myself almost every night) is to remember what your child needs most. They need you. They need to be loved. They need to know you are a solid person who will always try your best for them. They need to feel safe. I repeat these things to myself. This is all that matters. If it all falls to sh*t I know I can earn an income in many ways. I know I will land on my feet. I know the future is uncertain but my dedication to my family is unwavering. We may need to cut back on our berry purchases and trips to the toy store, but we’ll still have each other. And, in my daughter’s case, as long as she has access to Super Bowl halftime performance videos on YouTube (this is my 2 year old’s weird obsession), we’ll be okay.

Will my terror - both financial related and otherwise - ever subside? Not totally. But when I get freaked out about the cost of raising two kids in America, I stop, take a breath, and remember what was most important in my own childhood and that was the consistency of the love and support from my parents.

Alright, I’m exhausted and need my nightly snack. Remember, if you see a heavily pregnant lady in the wild - she’s probably hungry and very tired. Be kind and know she’s both so excited and terrified.

If I don’t talk to you next week, it’s because I had a baby and I’m running on a few hours of sleep. I’ll be back when I can muster the energy!

Love to love ya!

-Catie